Even though I met an unlikable human being--(if ever あいつ 's really human! lol)
I got to meet new friends and I've known those who are true to me..
Even though many people were taken away from me , a new one has been born---Ichigo
I've met amazing co-fans--Cassiopeia..
Even though I was hoping to go to the place where I've been planning the future..despite all the delays, misunderstandings, confusion, doubts and fears...I'm still happy to be where I am now with my family.
ま..多分..神-さま は 私に 性格 が ある と 思う..(^_^).
2009 had been bitter to me and to the people around me..放さない か? hahahaha..冗談 だけ だ よ!..
I really want to end this year..but ending 2009 means 2010's coming..and 2010 means----二十さい に なる! >,< Omo omo!!..I haven't done anything for my dream yet..バカ-バカ 私!! 実 は 新しい 処 え 行きたい です. 処が 他人 を 住んで いる..so I could move with full force--without hesitation! lol..It has to be sooner..and I pray for God's guidance..
I just want to greet my cousin "Christy-neesan" a Happy Happy Birthday!!
Actually, I almost forgot to greet her 'coz I thought her birthday's on the 21st--which is tomorrow..lol
Good thing I asked her personally.--(was it good??)
Today's one of the worst days of my life..
Because it's my cousin's birthday----we'll drink a little..
as for me----I wanna drink 'til I forget who I am..even just for a while..lol
I just wanna forget all the things that make me sad ..just give me a few hours break..
I just went to a blogger's site..She asked "what is GIVING" to the readers..
I thought, yeah right..what is giving for me?..then these words came out of my brain..
The word of giving is composed of love, sacrifice, offering, letting go, kindness..
there's no greater joy than seeing the person you've shown the act of "giving" happy..very heartwarming..
We must not expect something in return
..we find ourselves happier than those who received something even though they don't give something in return..
Awww..I miss my Grandpa very much.,ever since his death..my birthdays were dull; I always find myself mourning on the day of our birth..(we share the same birthday--exactly 75 years apart)..It's like no one can make me feel special on that day except him..
Now Christmas is near..
Anyway..I want to bang someone's head on the wall..
(never mind the reason why..XD)
i don't want to change my christmas mood..
Oh.,my sister Belle is writing stories..She's really amazing! She created if I'm not mistaken..I think 6 plots!
I wish I could use the complexity of my dear brain like that..hahaha!!
Although I wanna do random things at the same time..I can't (no one does)..because luckily, I have one body (if i have more than one body, extra hands, head, and feet-----I will be considered as non-human being---An Alien..hahahaha!!)--that would be weird and scary.
I'm trying to give her a hand--in a way that I can..Wahaha--she asked me to search on surnames & classical music.
I can't wait for these stories to finish!
I wish I could do something for my family and my dream. I've been pretty useless since last year..
I feel useless for being unable to do anything.
but I'm still hoping God will give me a chance.
This world is really scary..and i admit I'm afraid to face it...
but I have to..
To be able to give..sacrifice..risk..dedicate..
i need stronger foundation for this.
I wish someone could help me--assist me to take one step out of my comfort zone.
My morning isn't good nor bad..Hahaha..I don't have any sleep yet..--yeah, i've been thinking a lot.
I've been thinking about my friends..
To tell you the truth, I could only count 3-4 friends whom I feel are true to me.
Why?--I'm not psychic or anything..I judge my environment through experience and aura..(Aura-it's the energy that living things emit)
It's really sad when you show your true self to others and they don't..it's sad that you trust someone and they don't return that trust. It's depressing that you can easily share what you feel, your experiences and secrets to some people but those people keep their mouth shut.
It's annoying that you can't even tell what's inside their heads whenever there's silence.
Just like a one-sided love..(well, there's love in friendship..XD), a one-sided friendship.
It's tiring..but I'm trying to keep them all..I'm trying..
Of course we want to know what our friends think of us. Friends are like siblings..THERE'S NO WALL in between, whatever differences you have..it's nothing as long as there's a connection..A connection only friends could feel.