Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Paranoia Kills

I wonder how's Japan at this very moment..I hope they are okay. STAND UP JAPAN!! ♥

I'm really amazed how advanced my mind works-----at the same time..i hate it.
When I think how things might turn up when i do this, that, those--I get to analyze the situation. the problem is..with all the possible things that can happen..my head hurts thinking---in the end, my judgment (toward people) is a FAILURE--. In our language we call it "tamang hinala". how can i get rid of this bad habit? ..i admit socializing is one of my weaknesses..Of course I have friends..the people who accepted me for who I am.. (thank you brothers and sisters..:P)

I can't pretend to be someone just to please somebody. Nobody likes to.. right? Or is it just me---afraid of telling how I feel to a person?..that he/she might dislike me..ahhh here it goes again. *HALT*

Anyway..I'm really happy tonight! Why?----they said there's a possibility that JYJ will come for concert! where?---HERE in our country!!!! *walksbackandforth*
I will definitely attend! I'll watch them from the VIP seats!!! OMG! *calms down*

While waiting for that moment..cassies from all over the world are preparing a project..(want to join us?---visit alwaysonetvxq.blogspot.com ) I need a camera for this..we also need Cassiopeias' particpation. I have a plan in mind..but i dunno where to start 'coz I don't know anyone from CassPH. argh..I'm thinking it will be better if we have more participants. ahh..i wish I have more time.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

The Agony

It's been more than 24 hours since the tragedy happened.

March 11, 2011
(2:15pm)
I was at the pantry..with my locker wide open----the first thing I do every time I open my locker is check twitter.
The first tweet I saw was Ms. Marie Digby's saying that she can still feel the shaking of the building where they were staying. When I looked at the time----she tweeted it an hour ago. I was not sure if who's tweet I read----saying that there's a possibility that a tsunami would hit Japan. In my mind, I was still at ease----"maybe it's one of the usual small quakes they always experience""Maybe I just misread about the tsunami.." I thought.
I sat on a chair and ate the packed lunch (onigiri) my brother made for me. I was really happy that time..Even though the day's just starting, I felt great.

After an hour, I went back to work..And because I was in the mood..Assisting people was not like a "job" for me..more like socializing.
Then, I went in the stockroom for a transaction..Our cashier just told me.."your favorite country was hit by earthquake and tsunami." _______________long silence_____________
"No, they said there's a possibility that it would get hit." I said.
"It happened already!  I think it's Miyagi-----Sendai"

I dunno----that moment..my chest felt heavy, and my eyes were teary. I don't have relatives there..but I have a few Japanese friends---I won't deny that I did think of my idols' safety too. My mind was shouting GOD, PLEASE KEEP THEM SAFE! DON'T LET ANY SOUL BE HARMED.
I'm not Japanese but I feel like I'm one of them. I love my own country as much as I love Japan. I admit that I feel like Japan's my home. I LOVE JAPAN. the land, the people, the art and culture, the music. EVERYTHING.
Seeing them suffer hurts me.

I went out the shop so I can send messages to my friends..I told them to email back if they are okay..what's their situation, etc. I wanted to know if they are fine..Thank God they were. I couldn't sleep last night thinking how they were at that moment. if they are safe. Were they warm enough to sleep..the food.argh..
I read Marie's and Yuu's tweet that they were fine..to pray for the others, cheering their countrymen that they would make it
..and then JJ tweeted too..(what a relief!) He said that Junsu returned to Korea safely..which means he's been in Korea all the while.. that they were praying for Japan too..
My friends mailed back saying they were okay..as well as their family and friends..
Thorns were slowly plucked out of my chest..knowing the people you care for are safe..
I was freaking out the whole day as if my family was there. to me they are..even if they don't feel the same..I don't care.

Until now..I'm still wondering how they are..not just my friends..but ALL of them. Let's pray everything will be alright.


雨ふるときには、君のかさになろう、風ふくときには君の壁意なろう。。どんなにやみのふかい夜でも。。必ず明日は来るから。君だけに伝えたいよ。。必ず明日は来るから。

みんな。。気をつけて元気だ!